English Rulez

-Avoid alliteration always.
-Be more or less specific.
-Employ the vernacular.
-Eschew amperstands & abbreviations, etc.
-Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-Contractions aren’t necessary.
-One should never generalize.
-Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
-One word sentences? Eliminate.
-The passive voice is to be avoided.
-Who needs rhetorical questions?
-Don’t never use double negation.
-Do not put statements in the negative form.
-Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
-Proofread carefuly to see if you words out.
-And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
-Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
-I’ve told you a million times: DON’T EXAGGERATE!

My Very Own: (Usually addressed to my brothers.)
-*yells* “Relax”
-Have some f***** Manners!


2 thoughts on “English Rulez”

  1. Funny! I haven’t seen this in a while… and it’s great to see it again.
    But it doesn’t say anything about not starting a sentence with “But.”

    Thanks for sharing.

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