C12: What a life

C12: What a life

I look at you and it’s like I am 18 again

I remember what it’s like to feel young and miserable

But now it’s different

I have more wisdom

Limited, I shall say

But able to carry me through seeing life outside of you

I taste second chances

I feel grace

I am in awe of what a life it is

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C3: Selflessness

C3: Selflessness

I was discussing with my argumentative therapist an intense, extreme, optimal example of human selfness. A person that I know that sacrifices ALL HE HAS of time, energy, and finances for a a very noble cause, if not THE most noble cause there is. I can’t quote my therapist exactly but he minimized and diluted my friend’s efforts by counting them off as self gratifying at the end (so not entirely selfless).

If the epitome of selfness HAS TO HAVE an iota of self gratification in the equation because noble causes are fulfilling to the human moral consciousness, then why should that weaken the quality of selflessness. In other words, if the quality of selflessness itself as humans know it contains self gratification then why should that even be mentioned.

C2: Road Trip

C2: Road Trip:

There are things that I am afraid of. Dark truths about the world that I am afraid to face and look in the eye. Maybe they’re not entirely dark but they are not entirely light either. Maybe the hidden, the parts that I don’t know or see will give me the relief and courage I need to face the dark parts. But the healing doesn’t come before the hurt.

(I wrote this, hoping that writing would be cathartic and alleviate my fears. I am literally afraid to take a road trip because I am afraid of what I am going to see and suffer the emotions and the actions that those truths warrant.)

C1: Fixation

C1: Fixation

Calling you beautiful is an understatement

Looking at your face (against the glimmering sun) spreading its rays to take more beauty from the world

Looking at your (shimmering) eyes giving it back

Sometimes sucking it all in and the rays in them become brighter, fiercer

Sucking me in

As I am left to feel or not feel at all the lightness of existence

(I woke up to an image in my mind that that inspired this image. It was of S looking at me through the corner of his right eye, as the falling sun and the ocean behind made it sparkle. We were standing on the pier arguing. Obviously, I embellished a bit to allow the moment its glory that can only be found in poetry, fiction, and our imaginative minds when we recall what could have been and make it more.)