Perfectionist Fallacy & My Shopping Addiction: a few confessions & my intentions


shopping-addiction

  • I have a shopping addiction
  • I think I use it to cope
  • I possibly have OCD, ADD, Depression, PTSD, BPD, NPD
  • I binge shop a lot
  • I rarely use my stuff
  • I am unemployed
  • I have no source of income
  • I have a lot of credit card debt
  • I accept myself as is
  • I accept my bad habits as they are
  • They are not inherently bad
  • I am trying to expose myself to myself
  • I am trying to appreciate what I already have
  • I am trying to use up what I own
  • I have always had a stream of new “stuff” coming into my life, and thus I feel like I don’t know my likes and dislikes.
  • I want to learn about my likes and dislikes
  • I attach a “fantasy;  fantastical sense of self”, or an emotional tie to “things”.
  • I don’t want my things to be part of my identity; although I feel that way deeply with books. I need to find a way to figure this out. Maybe, I need to attach my identity to the idea of the book out there existing in the world, without the need to own it. I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t attach my identity or romanticize books to begin with… Though, I KNOW that I always will. I am a sentimental person. It is not a bad thing. I accept myself as I am. Maybe it is OK to buy a copy of a favorite book, just because it makes me safe.
  • I had an excellent credit score (though I always struggled with buying/returning, but I was able to afford it)
  • I am ashamed/afraid to look at my finances
  • My shopping habits make me embarrassed
  • I spend a lot of time, money, energy researching, fantasizing, returning, buying stuff that I seldom use
  • I have a Poshmark and Mercari accounts and I was so successful with them last year
  • I’d like to get back to decluttering and being active on aforementioned platforms
  • I’d like to declutter more by selling/donating/giving away as gifts
  • I want to know what I actually have and how I feel about them
  • I would like to partake in Project Panning, or No Buy
  • I wonder how my life and my personality will change if I fixed this unhealthy habit
  • I return a lot of stuff, to a point where I have to hit different malls or have friends do it for me because I am embarrassed by the quantities
  • I would like to have a concrete Savings account
  • I would like to feel the joy of shopping
  • What I have been doing gives me no joy, it just feel like it is something I have to do
  • I want to have less stuff that I love
  • I want to learn about my preferences, which will lead to having more intention when I shop
  • I hate feeling like I need to try everything to find the best “item”. As I am in the drowning in this process, I recognize that those decisions are trivial in the long run, but I can’t stop myself
  • I am embarrassed to admit my shopping habits to others
  • I feel crazy in my head
  • I don’t feel normal
  • I feel like I make my life hell but I can’t stop myself
  • I will add more to this
  • I hope I can be consistent with this
  • I struggle with consistency
  • I am in therapy
  • I am on medication
  • I will add more to this, as I think of my more confessions/ intentions
  • I needed to do this, as just I BINGED on makeup shopping
  • I was afraid to tally up everything; I am still afraid to open my bank account
  • I need to go to mail a BUNCH of returns tomorrow
  • I feel happy when I get rid of stuff
  • I don’t understand the root/roots of my shopping addiction. I don’t understand it. I just want to talk about it
  • I believe if people find out about my bad habits, that they will think I am a psychopath, or is it a sociopath…
  • I believe that I can never find romantic love if I expose my shame and weird obsessions/habits to the other person
  • Today, my therapist said what I suffer from is called a “Perfectionist Fallacy”, and most people don’t have it, but a significant minority have it and are just like me
  • I am glad it has a name
  • I want to learn about it
  • I want to attend a Shopaholics Anonymous meeting
  • I hope they take place around me
  • My therapist said I have a hard time accepting reality as it is
  • My credit card doesn’t go through on Ulta.com anymore, I believe the have banned me
  • I have so many fictional accounts, fictional names, and emails

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Published by

4ever21christina

Christina is 25 years old, living in Los Angeles, USA. She graduated in 2013, earning her Bachelor of Arts degree in Literature and Creative Writing. Christina is a curious soul, so she filled her college career with classes about art, philosophy, fashion, photography, etc. You name it, she took it (say... archery? Yes. Hmm belly dancing? Yes!). Yes, it all that "learning" did result in prolonging her stay at college, but she doesn't regret it one bit, as she feels ready as ever to produce this blog to you and introduce you to her colorful world! She has three blogs, make sure to check them out: 4ever21Christina https://4ever21christina.wordpress.com A blog for the happy, modern, well-rounded woman. Today Is the Day http://everdayinspirationalquotes.wordpress.com Tune in for daily inspirational quotes plus their matching photos. I Heart Vocabulary http://iheartvocabulary.wordpress.com A vocabulary devoted blog.

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