Perfectionist Fallacy & My Shopping Addiction: a few confessions & my intentions

shopping-addiction

  • I have a shopping addiction
  • I think I use it to cope
  • I possibly have OCD, ADD, Depression, PTSD, BPD, NPD
  • I binge shop a lot
  • I rarely use my stuff
  • I am unemployed
  • I have no source of income
  • I have a lot of credit card debt
  • I accept myself as is
  • I accept my bad habits as they are
  • They are not inherently bad
  • I am trying to expose myself to myself
  • I am trying to appreciate what I already have
  • I am trying to use up what I own
  • I have always had a stream of new “stuff” coming into my life, and thus I feel like I don’t know my likes and dislikes.
  • I want to learn about my likes and dislikes
  • I attach a “fantasy;  fantastical sense of self”, or an emotional tie to “things”.
  • I don’t want my things to be part of my identity; although I feel that way deeply with books. I need to find a way to figure this out. Maybe, I need to attach my identity to the idea of the book out there existing in the world, without the need to own it. I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t attach my identity or romanticize books to begin with… Though, I KNOW that I always will. I am a sentimental person. It is not a bad thing. I accept myself as I am. Maybe it is OK to buy a copy of a favorite book, just because it makes me safe.
  • I had an excellent credit score (though I always struggled with buying/returning, but I was able to afford it)
  • I am ashamed/afraid to look at my finances
  • My shopping habits make me embarrassed
  • I spend a lot of time, money, energy researching, fantasizing, returning, buying stuff that I seldom use
  • I have a Poshmark and Mercari accounts and I was so successful with them last year
  • I’d like to get back to decluttering and being active on aforementioned platforms
  • I’d like to declutter more by selling/donating/giving away as gifts
  • I want to know what I actually have and how I feel about them
  • I would like to partake in Project Panning, or No Buy
  • I wonder how my life and my personality will change if I fixed this unhealthy habit
  • I return a lot of stuff, to a point where I have to hit different malls or have friends do it for me because I am embarrassed by the quantities
  • I would like to have a concrete Savings account
  • I would like to feel the joy of shopping
  • What I have been doing gives me no joy, it just feel like it is something I have to do
  • I want to have less stuff that I love
  • I want to learn about my preferences, which will lead to having more intention when I shop
  • I hate feeling like I need to try everything to find the best “item”. As I am in the drowning in this process, I recognize that those decisions are trivial in the long run, but I can’t stop myself
  • I am embarrassed to admit my shopping habits to others
  • I feel crazy in my head
  • I don’t feel normal
  • I feel like I make my life hell but I can’t stop myself
  • I will add more to this
  • I hope I can be consistent with this
  • I struggle with consistency
  • I am in therapy
  • I am on medication
  • I will add more to this, as I think of my more confessions/ intentions
  • I needed to do this, as just I BINGED on makeup shopping
  • I was afraid to tally up everything; I am still afraid to open my bank account
  • I need to go to mail a BUNCH of returns tomorrow
  • I feel happy when I get rid of stuff
  • I don’t understand the root/roots of my shopping addiction. I don’t understand it. I just want to talk about it
  • I believe if people find out about my bad habits, that they will think I am a psychopath, or is it a sociopath…
  • I believe that I can never find romantic love if I expose my shame and weird obsessions/habits to the other person
  • Today, my therapist said what I suffer from is called a “Perfectionist Fallacy”, and most people don’t have it, but a significant minority have it and are just like me
  • I am glad it has a name
  • I want to learn about it
  • I want to attend a Shopaholics Anonymous meeting
  • I hope they take place around me
  • My therapist said I have a hard time accepting reality as it is
  • My credit card doesn’t go through on Ulta.com anymore, I believe the have banned me
  • I have so many fictional accounts, fictional names, and emails

BWt3LxlCYAEcjLo

Plus Size Macy’s $5.59 Winter/Fall Clothing Haul

Dear Wonderful Reader,

Here’s part 2 of my Macy’s haul. I made my mom my model. I hope you enjoy the selection and hopefully this reaches you in time so you could take advantage of this sale.

thumb_DSC_0084_1024thumb_DSC_0075_1024thumb_DSC_0068_1024thumb_DSC_0072_1024thumb_DSC_0065_1024

I initially bought this for myself but it looked terrible on me because of the fit (see the post before this one), however its great quality and great price ($9 from $99) made it hard for me to give it up. That’s why I was glad when my mom decided to keep it for herself.thumb_DSC_0063_1024thumb_DSC_0061_1024thumb_DSC_0076_1024thumb_DSC_0085_1024

 

I also bought those two shirts for my brothers cause I wanted them to be “twinsies”. They refused to model them for me :(.thumb_DSC_0088_1024

 

Invoice:

Screen Shot 2016-06-18 at 9.11.13 PMScreen Shot 2016-06-18 at 9.11.28 PMScreen Shot 2016-06-18 at 9.14.21 PM

Vintage Delights

Dear Wonderful Reader,

Today I splurged and bought a new watch. As I ‘m walking down the department stores’s aisles trying to make it look like I “accidentally” stumbled upon my reflection  in the mirror to check myself out, I realized how vintage or Old World my watch looked and was just musing trying to figure out why I have this attraction towards things that are of the past. I guess of I’m just one of those people… I find myself rather enchanted by sentimentality or nostalgia. I don’t know why. Is it because feelings associated with sentimentality, and nostalgia give mere materialistic items more worth than they deserve… Is it because social sciences say that we buy things to reflect who we are to people and I’m rebelling against this “tech” filled age (while I’m using a laptop blogging *rolling eyes at myself) and sticking my guns out by sticking to values and traditions of the past… does that fit better with my emotional nature…

Furthermore, I went to TJ Max and saw this lovely retro fan for $50.00 that I really wanted and kept thinking about, but don’t worry I was a good human being and made it out without buying it since I don’t need it even though my treacherous mind was telling me how summer is coming up and how that my birthday is too coming up and how that should be my birthday present to myself or I could buy it and tell my sister that I already bought my birthday gift from her and ask her to pay me back or I could just buy it for a friend and what was so wrong with giving…

OK. The point is I like vintage stuff. I want all these items in my house/at my place (when I have one). In an effort to embrace minimalism and save $$ I’m going to satisfy my cravings by sharing with y’all those lovely vintage, retro, Old World, whateveryouwannacallit things who just “so happened” to be blue. So enjoy this guilt-free window shopping experience.

How it all started…

electric-fan-ha051-01il_fullxfull.335896957

Can’t realistically justify why would anyone purchase a typewriter but it’s just so lovely…il_fullxfull.2283478601retro-lamps-2Crosley-retro-style-cruiser-turntable-turquoise-vinyl-CR8005A-TUil_fullxfull.403420767_mj4zblue-old-clock-made-urss-39020063antique-2B-2Bdresser-2B-2Bblue-2B-2Bfurniture-2B-2Bmakeover-2B-2Bdiy-2B-2Bbaby101rotbart_fridgeOn that note… Have a Coke 😉

801898557_1625257

Wonderful Wednesday: Bedroom and Restroom Decor Ideas

Hey Lovelies,

This Wonderful Wednesday holds a very special place in my heart because Egypt is finally freed from the cruel, barbaric Muslim Brotherhood Ruling. I am so happy for Egypt and this only makes me anticipate good things and a hopeful future for Egypt. Its true, the God is fair and good will always rule over the bad.

Moving on to the post, I decided to post some simple decor ideas captured straight from my own bedroom and restroom. I know some of you may think that I’m showing off but I’m only posting this because I really love all those pieces and I spent so much time and energy on them. I hope that it may inspire some of you to reinvent your bedroom or a part of your house that you’ve neglecting, cause we all know how our surrounding affect our mood and spirit.

Flowers: Michaels Vase: Edible Arrangements
Flowers: Michaels
Vase: Edible Arrangements
Globe: Things Remembered
Globe: Things Remembered
Globe: Things Remembered
Globe: Things Remembered
Lamp: Target
Lamp: Target
Solid Black Box: Ikea Perfume: Victoria's Secret (Noir)
Solid Black Box: Ikea
Perfume: Victoria’s Secret (Noir)
Dresser: Ikea
Dresser: Ikea
Frame: T.J.MAXX Picture: from a magazine/catalogue
Frame: T.J.MAXX
Picture: from a magazine/catalogue
Lamp: Ikea
Lamp: Ikea
Wall Clock: Ikea
Wall Clock: Ikea

photo-20

Frame: T.J.MAXX Picture: from a magazine/catalogue
Frame: T.J.MAXX
Picture: from a magazine/catalogue

photo-13

"Paintings": Ikea
“Paintings”: Ikea
Wall Mural: Target
Wall Mural: Target

photo-24

photo-15

photo-8

photo-6

photo-22

Containers: Wall Mart
Containers: Wall Mart
Soap set: T.J.Maxx
Soap set: T.J.Maxx
Used a candle stand to function as a tray for perfumes.
Used a candle stand to function as a tray for perfumes.
Thanks Mom!  Made me some Turkish coffee while I'm blogging all this <3
Thanks Mom!
Made me some Turkish coffee while I’m blogging all this ❤