Tag Archives: self help

know thyself 2

 

“1. Here is a funny story: a friend of mine who teaches at a university used to complain saying that he was sick of seeing half of his students sleeping during his classes! Poor things were always bored to death. It may have something to do with the fact that he was teaching ” Constitutional Law” , but still, indeed a good teacher should be someone who can make any subject interesting. So he finally decided to do something about it and arranged a meeting with a famous Austrian Professor, specialised in Pedagogy, to ask her for an advice.

The first thing the woman said was: – Are you also bored when you teach? He said: – Oh yes, absolutely!!! It is a simple point but we all can learn something from this: A bored person is boring and an ” interested” person is interesting!

2. Most of us have no connection to our inner selves. The best way to make that connection is to be CURIOUS about ourselves. Just to wonder why we do what we do and why we think what we think. It can be really fun to look at yourself this way: with compassion and curiosity.

3. The closer you get to yourself, the closer you get to others. And we only need two things for this: To find the right TOOLS to look inside. To find the right WORDS to describe what we see.

TOOLS: – The best tool I know is Alain de Botton’s philosophical meditation. They have a video about it on this (Youtube- The School of Life) channel. Don’t miss it! You could then print the questions below the video and go through them at least once a week. They are extremely helpful. One tragic thing about almost all of us, is that we really don’t know how to think. It is so difficult to think ” clearly” about yourself. What we call “thinking” is often just ” brooding”. And we have all sorts of mechanisms to delude ourselves too. So it is great to have a clear question in front of you, to which you must find an answer without changing the subject! If we learn to ” talk to ourselves” in these very interesting and productive ways, we can hopefully do the same with other people too! – Another great tool is Mindfulness Meditation. You could search for this on Itunes and start today: UCLA Hammer Meditation. ( I have watched a lesson on Mindfulness from Yale University on youtube. The teacher there recommended these guided meditation podcasts. They are extremely helpful! ) And the best books I have read on meditation are: Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill, by Matthieu Ricard Mindfulness: An Eight Week Plan For Finding Peace in a Frantic World, by Mark Williams.

WORDS: – Wittgenstein says: ” All I know is what I have words for”. In order to have more words at hand to describe how we feel, we need to read a lot of good books, poems, watch good movies, listen to beautiful songs, and listen to the people around us very well. After all, our stories may be very different, but we all suffer more less because of the same things.

4. Three excellent podcasts on how to listen and communicate well are: Listening generously, Rachel Naomi Yemen with Krista Tippett On Being with Krista Tippet, Kwami Anthony Appiah BBC A Point of View, Alain de Botton on The Art of Conversation.

5. A writer from Turkey, Ahmet Altan, says that the most interesting things people could say, are the things they don’t dare to say and rather keep for themselves. What a pity really! But he also adds that children don’t have that kind of fear. And that’s why when you talk to a child you can always hear something interesting!

6. It is so true that those who had travelled the most or met famous folks etc. , aren’t necessarily the most interesting people. Once I had a coffee with a musician I knew, a few days after he came back from his South America tour. So I asked him how it all went. I thought it must have been a life changing experience! But all he could say was: – Oh, yeah, it was cool. Cool! It was so cool you know…. He had gone through an extraordinary experience but he didn’t really ” experience” anything! He was the exact opposite of the painter in this beautiful lesson, who knew how to make something so valuable out of an ordinary ( at first sight ) experience!! That’s why this quote by Rilke is so important: ” …For believe me, the more one is, the richer is all that one experiences“. So our goal should be to become wiser, more sensitive and more profound , so that everything we experience can also become more meaningful. And if we feel the need to share all these, we won’t be boring. At least to some people!”

 

  • Copied from a comment on Youtube by Lua Veli.

know thyself

“The gift of being interesting is neither exclusive nor reliant on exceptional talent. It requires only direction, honesty, and focus. The person we call interesting is in essence someone alive to what we all deeply want from social intercourse, which is an uncensored glimpse of what the brief waking dream called life looks like through the eyes of another person. And reassurance we are not entirely alone with all that feels most bewildering, peculiar, and intense within us.

 

Fabulous Friday: Spring State of Mind

Dear Wonderful Reader,

I know it’s not Friday…

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With only 5 days left until Spring (March 20th), I feel the rush to liberate myself from those heavy Winter coats, long Winter boots, and  start Spring Cleaning my closet, my house, but most importantly, my mind. Winter may have brought me some challenges, and some tests, but it’s time to rid myself of all that stress and heavy-sighing and indulge in a Spring State of Mind.

This post will feature the latest Spring 2014 looks from the runway, not for imitation purposes, but to spark your imagination and fire your soul for Spring. Now, it’s important to note that a Spring State of Mind requires more than just shifting or updating your closet; after all, it is a state of mind. So think of this Spring as a new start where  flowers blossom and  grass gets greener and spring yourself forward.

Spring Cleaning Your Mind

1. Sit down in a quiet, clean area and start free writing (writing mindlessly) about your life and where you are in life. Do that for 10 minutes. Then, read it again.

2. On a blank sheet of paper, create a table with four columns and labels them as follows:

  • a. Things I’m grateful for:
  • b. Things I need to improve:
  • c. Things I need to let go of: this one is could be challenging but a good rule to follow is: If something is weighting you down mentally, emotionally, or physically and making you unhappy, then you’re better off without it.
  • d. Things I want to achieve:

Work on this table for as long as you need.

3. Look over each column with a realistic eye, and believing heart, and just be honest with yourself. We are our own worst judge, so remind yourself at every second to be positive and gentle towards yourself.

  • a. Things I’m grateful for: Thank God. Don’t take any things for granted, cause you may wake up one day and not find it. And don’t forget to celebrate your little accomplishements.
  • b. Things I need to improve: Think of realistic steps that you could take to improve them. If your stuck then get some books on the subject or research it on the internet.
  • c. Things I need to let go of: take sometime with this one and try to envision your life without those burdens and how happy, and light you’ll feel. Then, convince yourself that it’s time you choose to be happy, and unstoppable (even in the littlest of way). You owe that to yourself!
  • d. Things I want to achieve: I don’t care what your dream is, I know that you can do it, because that’s what God promised to his children. But, remember that YOU play a big role in achieving your dream. You have to believe that it will come true and that all those people or unfortunate circumstances that discourage you are only there to test your faith or strength, they are merely objects, and God is the sole decision maker, so be friends with him! Remember, baby steps are totally ok and encouraged; CONSISTENCY IS the real KEY! Einstein said, “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” So I want you to fully embrace your Spring State of Mind and slap doubt in the face every time he knocks on your door and tell him, “You’re not welcome here”, and kick him out.

4. Make a clean, visually appealing version of this table and omit the, Things I need to let go of column. Frame it or tape it next to your closet. Every day wakeup expectantly, ready to rock (or tackle!) the day, and pick an outfit that makes you feel GOOD and fabulous (doesn’t have to be expensive!). Then,  glance over at the table and keep your eyes and focus on the prize!!!

At Last, here are the aforementioned pictures:

Enjoy…

04-rtw-guide-dolce-and-gabbana_145356682194Dolce & Gabbana 04-rtw-guide-dolce-and-gabbana_151224844764Dolce & Gabbana 01-rtw-guide-altuzarra_145353377966Altuzarra04-rtw-guide-burberry-prorsum_160105626053Burberry Prorsum07-rtw-guide-dvf_150306547292Diane von Furstenberg05-rtw-guide-michael-kors_151225694108Michael Kors06-rtw-guide-etro_151226932966Michael Kors07-rtw-guide-versace_151227403306Versace08-rtw-guide-alberta-ferretti_151228165234Alberta Ferretti06-rtw-guide-jason-wu_152117371461Jason Wu

P.S. Please excuse the lengthy-ness of this post; it was supposed to be solely about  Spring fashion, but then this happened! Stay fabulous!