What’s your remedy to feel better when you’re feeling down?

You know guys those days that start out being good and you feel good but then one little thing happen that makes you feel unsettled. It’s funny cause I didn’t know how sad I felt until later.

When I feel down or sad, often times I don’t express it to others because I want them to have a positive and a stronger impression of me. Also, because I’m the one who often tell people to keep strong and faithful. I keep it to myself because sometimes I feel like if I expressed it verbally to people, it somehow becomes more real. And sometimes, I just suppress my sadness and embrace optimism.  Though, sometimes I feel like it shows on me anyway.

Lately, I have been expressing my gratitude, sadness, and despair through a little aqua journal called “Letters to God”. The journal is super cool and it’s shaped as an envelope and every page has a a different bible verse. I like this journal a lot because I always thought that a journal is only for weak people and I refuse to think I’m weak. Also, I never saw the point of documenting sad memories because that makes them sadder.

So In my “Letters to God” journal, I write letters to God and converse with him. I love this journal so much because knowing that I’m writing letters to God makes me express myself to the fullest and throw everything on him. This journal makes me seriously weep and cry sometimes, and sometimes it makes me smile if I saw that something I had asked from God had already happened.

I just finished my letter to God today and I was weeping so hard but I feel so much better and I hope God will be by my side in the next few days and forever.

Now, I’m going to list the verses or quotes that were on the journal pages I filled up today just for inspiration:

1. In place of our exhaustion and fatigue, God will give us rest. All he asks is that we come to him … that we spend a while thinking about him, mediating on him, talking to him, listening in silence. Charles Swindoll

2. Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Birds and Hearts

Young Love

A funny poem I have once written to a boy I thought I liked. “xxx” substitutes his name.

Waves, water, beach
xxx is about to deliver a speech
But he doesn’t know what to say
‘Cause he was blazing it all day

He gets up
He starts making up

Everybody is silent
The Professor looks like he’s about to get violent

The Professor hugs xxx
He almost shed a tear
Then, offered him a free beer

xxx couldn’t believe it
He thought how Mary Jane should be legit
To celebrate, he smoked two joints
Right till their end points (accompanied by his Professor)

I’m a GANGSTER

Many people might find it surprising to discover that I’m such a big fan of Lil Wayne. Maybe my delicate appearance (ha, sometimes) and soft voice have something to do with it but Lil Wayne definitely speaks to my violent, badass, rebel side. What I love about Lil Wayne is his confidence and the way he present himself through his lyrics. He may rap a lot about sex, money, and weed, but through the undertones of such lyrics you get a feel of his positive out look on life, his intelligence, and his massive ability to use puns and metaphors. Also, as I’m listening to him he’ll say something that make me laugh then he laughs at it too (so cute!). He’s such a jokester. Love him.

I especially love him in this interview and I think this quote is EPIC.

“I’m a gangster miss Katie…I don’t take nothing from no one. I do what I wanna do and I’m gonna do that until the day I die, and if I can’t do that then I’ll just die.” Lil Wayne

I can definitely relate and understand exactly what he’s saying as I’m the same way. I feel so prisoned and chained if I felt like I’ve been insulted or misunderstood and didn’t stand  up for myself. Even when doing so will cause me embarrassment or discomfort. I have stood up to bosses, professors (kinda, lol), parents, women, old ladies, friends, and boys. I have gotten fired up because of it and left my own sorority but at least I know what I had to do which is NEVER TAKING SHIT FROM ANYONE NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE. Sometimes I feel like I won’t be able to express myself correctly or tackle the situation in the most intelligent way but I tell myself that It doesn’t matter and that I WILL NOT AND I WON’T go home until I know that I stood up for myself. Because really I won’t be able to continue living my life feeling like a (excuse the word) pussy, such feeling will make inadequate to perform even the simplest tasks in life. I gain my confidence from my ability to trust myself. And I urge you to do the same even If you feel that your voice is so weak it’s gonna break or that you’re breathing so hard you’re gonna die. DO IT! You own it to yourself.

So next time my professor asks me why I hadn’t turned in my paper, Imma be like “I a gangster miss Smith” ha. lol

More on that in later posts

Miss Pink

About to start a paper :/. Wish me luck =]

Bits of Childhood…

Man I wish I could rap
So please bear with me in that crap
I’m writing here trying to run away from my real assignments
I know am fooling myself but fuck it I feel enlightenment
And I’ll be working on that shit till I get the alignment
And I’ll be my own muse, sorry this ain’t no literature
I’ll just sit here reminisce, reflect, and enjoy my nature
Always hated school, man it felt like a prison
Those cold mornings, endless winters, ahhh unwanted season
Let me start by saying,  I felt like a dude
Just a skinny kid with no interest in food
My father dragged me out of bed and throw me at the gate with no supplies
I was the only chick who sat in the back with the guys
Never did my homework, was always late
Felt like like a boy but still with them couldnt communicate
Had no choice but to get embarrassed
But hell, I gained That courage

I remember i used to look at them chicks with such admiration
Wanting to be like them, feeling despiration, no exagerration
Wondered if i’ll ever be that girly
Ha ain’t life funny
Fast forward some years later, wait hold up pause
Do I hear a round of a  aplause haha
Alright, I was the chick that them chicks would look up to
They’d be like christina “Your eyes“, “Your hair“, “Your style”
Their appreciation made my prison worthwhile
Gotta say thank you to my old classmates
I miss you guys, ha miss them dates
Shout out to Andrew, my very first crush
Me and Mina Foad sending them notes, ha young lover
Went from feeling like a boy to being the most popular girl in my class
I swear I’m not saying that to shove my conidence up your ass
I just wanna tell you to pray, ask, and dream
Ain’t no way around cause He’s the supreme

Photobooth fun

What’s a funner way to procrastinate than photobooth lol?!