Tag Archives: Jesus

Touch the Divine

Everyone is trying to touch the Divine somehow.

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let go of control, child. you never had it anyway

Hi,

 

This is what I imagine God is telling me about my b*****s in the sea that are trying to torture me mentally. I need to combat those thoughts back with God. My brain goes crazy trying to argue with those bitches; there is no need to. I need to silence them with the word of God.

 

  • Me: a family friend’s suicide. A 17 year old boy… He suffered so much. Why did you let him go this way. Why did you make it successful. If you were planing to take him anyway, why did’t you make it a natural death. It was sad to see how much he suffered from bullying, judgement, physical abuse, and loneliness, and then to see the same abusive people judge him even in his passing like they’re better than him somehow. Like they’re superior to him because he couldn’t handle life and they are. Why is it the the meek is always conspired against and a lot of time the meek end up losing those battles, at least from an earthly perspective. He was so full of light, how could he go out in this dark way… Where were you? What was he thinking in his last moment? How could he reach this point of hopelessness and brokenness? I know that sometimes, hardships are supposed to teach us something, make us grow, maybe you were trying to teach his family something and the people around him, but why would it be at his own expense. I love you, God. Don’t be mad at me. I just wish I understood. How am I supposed to answer those bitches when they come at me like that. I don’t get it, Lord…

God: Lay it down, child

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  • Me: My break up with my boyfriend. I don’t necessarily love him and want him but the act of “breaking up” seems foreign to me and unnatural. How could my best friend become a stranger to me. I feel guilty for letting him go, knowing how short life is. He wants to leave too. I can’t make sense of it…

God: Let it go, Child

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  • A boy who never gave the time of the day. I have this sort of crush/ infatuation with him for TEN years and I have to say I calmed down since. I mean I don’t write his name on the sand or anything (anymore). But, I hate how I still think about him. Sometimes, he actually invades my dreams and the strange thing I always wake up SO happy. I pray that I rise above it. Though, somehow I still think he will fall for me. I think it is inevitable. & I hate that thought too. I prayed SO much about him, and I think the Lord won’t let those prayers/ promisses go in vain, even if my prayer now is to rise above it.

God: Rise above it, child (and MAYBE, I will surprise you)

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  • When I see unfathomable injustices in the world, that makes me feel that the world is so dark, and life is unbearable and I think, God, please intervene, where are you? When I feel so helpless and all I can do is cry out to Him. When the pain becomes my pain and I pray and I tell God I love you and I trust and I am hurt by the darkness of the world and I feel the pain that poor creatures and innocent people are feeling, but tell me how I can let go. Tell how I can look at this without carrying it all on my shoulder. I can I not react to this. What is your way to reacting to this. I don’t know how to explain it. But Jesus did have Godly anger towards the peoples’ behavior in His Father’s house. So maybe I am rightful in my pain… But, I don’t think cause my pain is great, it extends to the pain of millions creatures I have never saw. I know I am doing this wrong…

God:

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  • Me: When people say that God is okay with eating animals and that he created them to be exploited by humans. That animals don’t have souls and they don’t to heaven. This paints God as being racist, and cruel. I know he is NOT. God isn’t compassionate. God is COMPASSION itself. If I am a mere human, who is full of sin and ignorance can have this compassion towards animals’ suffering, then how could God couldn’t. My minute compassion is a reflection of His compassion. And His compassion is unimaginably, and infinitely bigger than mine. Also, God is their creator, so that makes Him care about animals 3786386829748499 than I ever could. Also, He is the one who knows everything, sees everything, and feel everything, so their pain is 64845688675500 more real to Him than me.

God: for this one, I feel like I have to defend God and I tell Him I got it. I think about God’s character. I think about his goodness, kindness, and all the awesomeness that He is. And I think about how people are ignorant and that I shouldn’t blame God for what they wrongly say about Him, even they were priests, and even if I can’t find the exact piece of scripture to back me up.

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  • Me: My life, my future. Where is going. People around me have accomplished more. Did I waste my life. Did I waste the best part of my life. What was I doing those past 5 years. Look at other people, they’re actually taking real serious steps in their future like getting a degree, getting married, having a baby and I am write here writing a blog post and thinking about organizing my files. And the crazy thing is, I actually don’t want to get a degree, get married, or have babies, but I find my thoughts still taunting me with other people mile stones that I have no desire of achieving. Am I doing the right thing. God, you gave the power to change the world, and I can’t even get out of bed. I am sorry God for being so dumb and lazy. I know you gave a lot of potential and it isn’t your fault that I am using it. I can’t even pray to you. This is all on me. But, you know make me better, cause you control everything. ¬†And just chatter, chatter, chatter…. It never ends.

God: Let go of control, child. You never had it anyway.

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WEIGHT OF THE WORLD 2

Needless to say, and in ALL honesty, I have been burdened by the WEIGHT OF THE WORLD. I have been carrying atrocities and injustices that I have no idea how to even begin fathoming on my shoulders and blaming myself for being human or my apathy. That is why the messages below resonated with so much. My birthday was on the July 29th and this message was preached the next day on a Sunday. I really needed to hear this. I wanna let go. I have a lot on my mind and a lot to unravel in my soul. TBD.

Start the Day on a Good Note

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What do you guys do first thing in the morning to start the day on a good note?

 

Today, I found myself clung to my phone browsing the internet and forgetting my priorities. The dangerous thing wasn’t the aimless browsing but it was embarking on the “negative” websites that one tend to find spontaneously on the web. I researched problems instead of solutions, illness instead of healing and I felt like I am not setting a good tone for the day.

 

How do you guys spend your first hour of waking? How should I spend my morning?

The Acquisition of Faith

leap-of-faith_724_482_80I didn’t know that this moment would be carved in my memory until today, but it is. One time my brother and I were driving home after attempting to Christmas shop at an expensive mall (South Coast Plaza, CA). The drive home was traffic-filled and we got to talking about random stuff then somehow the conversation shifted as it always does after being trapped in a car long enough with someone close to you to Life and The Big Picture.

He told that he thought that Faith was truly the greatest virtue. Heck, he said it was the greatest word. It was the vehicle to everything and through everything. It was the vehicle to God.

I never understood then that this moment would stay with me so much but here it is echoing in my brain every second in this trying time in my life.

Some people seem to be gifted with this virtue. Or maybe I just don’t know the arduous journey they had to go through to acquire it. I find myself thinking that I have faith, only to find it how little I have it when I experience trials.

I am facing a great trial right now. I NEED to have faith. I need faith. I need you guys to tell me anything that would help me. I need to learn about your life experiences and how you have the faith that you have.

I need to see God through your experiences.

Please share your thoughts and pay for me.

Don’t Miss Your Turn

I have been reading the story of David lately (1 Samuel & 2 Samuel) and getting inspired so much by David’s bold character in his younger years, and his patient, fighting character in years of exile or escaping death. I was pleasantly surprised when my favorite internet pastor, Pastor Steven, released his latest message and it happened to be about David. I have struggling with a lot of emotional issues with the ways of this world lately and feeling so weak and helpless. This message was a blessing to me and I hope it is to you too.

Please continue to listen to this message even if you are from a different faith, or no faith at all. I believe we can all learn something from this message that the universe is sending your way.

Love you guys so much!