Things that make me physically uncomfortable and thus lazy and self-loathing

Dear Wonderful Reader,

Super obvious things but I want to name and acknowledge them in hope that those little parasite can go away and leave me alone. I, literally, want to figure them out on this post and it is going to sound so stupid, but I guess that sometimes I am just that dumb! I try to fight them, instead of making them away. A battle usually lost and ends in me glued to the bed as my mind is roaming freely in the land of Self-Loathing.

a. Problem: Too thirsty/ Solution: Go drink.

b. too hungry/ Go eat.

c. Need to use the bathroom/ Go use the bathroom.

d. too hot/ Go get a shirt.

e. too cold/ Go wear a robe.

f. Feeling bothered that my skin is dry/ Go lotion.

g. Feeling that scalp is itchy/ Go shower with Head and Shoulders and give your scalp a good massage (note to self: need to fix shower).

h. Feeling ugly/ Go shower and put a little effort into outfit and makeup.

i. Feeling that I use LAUNDRY (God help me) as an escape mechanism to delay that important things I should be doing/ Finish the load and do one thing that is important.

j. Feeling that I am easily tempted and that I shop too much/ Stop shopping for 24 hours.

k. Feeling shitty cause I was mean to my family/ Decide to continue the day with kindness. Just one day.

l. Feeling that my space is filthy and decluttered/ Go declutter or clean one thing.

m. Panting and feeling anxious cause I can’t make a decision/ Breathe, drink water, go pee if you need to, and put things into perspective.

n. Feeling like I have too many THINGS and especially things I don’t use/ Put one thing away IMMEDIATELY in the Goodwill bag.

My boyfriend’s cons I

1. he never said he was “in love” with me
2. he never surprised me
3. he always behaved like coming to see me was the biggest shore, because he had to battle traffic. A few times he would just sit there and be completely quiet in a crappy mood. One time that made me cry in public and instead of apologizing and comforting me, I had to spell out for him what he was doing and he just said that he doesn’t know why he is this way.
4. i had to say I love you first (though, i don’t think i meant it, i think i was just waiting to feel something or to move him or add some excitement to the relationship, that was a con of mine but i will get to that list in a different post).
5. he said he loved a year and a half later into the relationship but i felt like it lacked passion and vulnerability that comes with saying those 3 words. To his defense, i didn’t say it back to him. The uttering of those words didn’t move me or cause fireworks or anything. In fact, i don’t i had been eager for him to say. i always reminded myself that he hadn’t said it back when i said it to him and that was weird that it was taking him this long but that was just another flaw, i don’t think i looked forward to that moment. I also, didn’t say it back when he said it, which troubled me actually. i should have said it back without thinking, but for some reason i felt like if i did it would felt forced.
6. after that, when i he would call and i would end our calls with a causal “love you”, he would never say it back. And i wasn’t lying i guess i love him in a way i love a best friend.
7. he NEVER eagerly kissed me. In fact even time i would kiss him goodbye, i had to initiate it. and i would bring up this subject, he would say that he isn’t a teenager who can just sit there and make to for hours, but i wasn’t asking him to make out. it was just weird to me that i never felt that he HAD to kiss me or even wanted to.

What I learned today

Minute: 12:30; https://www.npr.org/player/embed/455644050/455749893

 

Minute: 22:40; https://www.npr.org/player/embed/464743261/464757243

 

catharsis: 

Discharge of pent-up emotions so as to result in the alleviation ofsymptoms or the permanent relief of the condition.

you can’t always get what you wanted

7 Ways to Maximize Misery

Rules of Happiness: Spend Out

Dear Wonderful Reader,

In her book “The Happiness Project”, Gretchen Rubin advises her readers to “Spend Out”. When I first read the header of the chapter, I thought she will talk about money and how we should spend more money in order to be happy.

Thankfully, her advise was much more accessible, and simpler than that. Ms. Rubin is advising against hoarding (guilty!!) or basically saving our “good” bra for only when we’re going out somewhere fancy. Or in my case marking my fancy perfume as a “special occasions ” perfume. How many of us are guilty of saving our “nice” things to events where we see fit, which may never come. Why not just enjoy them now  and put them to work and get our money and hard work’s worth. At the end of the day, they’re just things and they’re irreplaceable. Emotionally, it makes a lot of sense to suck as much happiness from what we got now rather than assigning them to a future they may never see (lol). Economically, it makes even more sense because you’re using all your resources (which may go bad or out of style if you keep hoarding).

So SPEND OUT and don’t hoard things. Wear red lipstick even if you’re only going grocery shopping. Break out the fine China for a simple event (or none at all). Wear your sexy bra even if you’re only running errands. Adore Me is encouraging women to wear their “good” bras AT ALL TIMES, check out their Instagram page for more inspiration. And I HIGHLY RECOMMEND “The Happiness Project”.

And yes, that’s a dog’s bed in the photo.

Proverbs Wisdom

keep things in perspective

“Dear Mother and Dad:

It has been three months since I left for college. I have been remiss in writing and I am very sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I will bring you up to date now, but before you read on, please sit down. You are not to read any further unless you are sitting down, okay.

Well then, I am getting along pretty well now. The skull fracture and the concussion I got when I jumped out of the window of my dormitory when it caught fire shortly after my arrival are pretty well healed by now. I only spent two weeks in the hospital and now I can see almost normally and only get those headaches once a day.

Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my jump was witnessed by an attendant at the gas station near the dorm, and he was the one who called the Fire Dept. and the ambulance. He also visited me at the hospital and since I had nowhere to live because of the burnt out dormitory, he was kind enough to invite me to share his apartment with him. It’s really a basement room, but it’s kind of cute. He is a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven’t set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes, mother and dad, I am pregnant. I know how very much you are looking forward to being grandparents and I know you will welcome the baby and give it the same love and devotion and tender care you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has some minor infection which prevents us from passing our premarital blood tests and I carelessly caught it from him. This will soon clear up with the penicillin injections I am now taking daily.

I know you will welcome him into the family with open arms. He is kind and although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know that your oft-expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by the fact that his skin color is somewhat darker than ours. I am sure you will love him as I do. His family background is good too, for I am told his father is an important gunbearer in the village in Africa from which he comes.

Now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you there was no dormitory fire; I did not have a concussion or a skull fracture; I was not in the hospital; I am not pregnant; I am not engaged. I do not have syphillis, and there is no man in my life. However, I am getting a D in sociology and an F in science; and I wanted you to see these marks in proper perspective.

Your loving daughter,”

Day 5: 5 (7) Things that Makes me Most Happy Right Now

Dear wonderful Reader,

I believe the five things that make me most happy right now are, and in no particular order are:

• Blogging: The world of blogging is fabulous and I love being able to materialize my thoughts and ideas into blog posts. Also, It makes me happy that when I get likes, comments, or followers so Thank you ❤
• Decluttering: I love decluttering or rather I hate clutter. Now that I have more time than I used to, I like going through my stuff and giving away or throwing out things I don’t need. It’s true what they say about your space reflecting your state of mind.
• Taking Baths: After a long day of stress and dealing with people who aren’t very nice or helpful, I love taking  a bath and watching a comedy show to relax me.
• Watching Good Movies: I love watching and discovering movies. I love it even more If I finish a movie and know that It’s soothing that I am going to be watching again or recommending it to friends. The last good (amazing) movie I came across was Amelie.
• Helping Others: I love helping people in general…. Let me rephrase I love the feeling I get after helping them but sometimes I don’t enjoy the task itself. However, the reward is great because it makes me feel happy and rejuvenated.
• Spending with my Family & Pets: One of simplest life pleasures that we often take for granted or at least I do. Note to self: be kinder to your family and create the best memories.
• Reading on the Beach/outdoors: I love going to the beach by myself to read. There is something magical about receiving knowledge while being in nature’s embrace; It makes me feel like I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing with your life, gives me positive energy and zeal, and inspires me.

The Joys of a Quiet Life

Dear Wonderful Reader,

We live in a society the promotes MORE, BIGGER as such they are the sign of success and true happiness. Yet all we end up with is debt, unmet expectations, and a longing for a time when life was simpler…quieter.

The Joys of a Quiet Life

1. Becoming one with nature.
2. Becoming acute to God/spirituality.
3. Exploring yourself (freely from any external influence such as social media or the pressure to “fit in”, or to become a “people pleaser”).
4. Spending quality time with family and friends (those selected few).
5. Focusing on your goals/dreams.
6. Having time for hobbies, imagination, and creativity.
7. Spending money wisely on things that we need rather than what we want (liberating ourselves from measuring up to “The Jones”, buying the new “IT” thing on social media, or to fit in with a clique”). Also, by saving, we can have enough money to donate or help someone in need.
8. Purpose: Growth: Joy. There is something alluring about realizing that we’re utilizing our resources and energy to its full potential for good that leads to feeling purposeful. Purpose flourishes to growth and growth yields joy.
9. Less drama. 
10. Peace of mind (which sounds really simple but as we get older and life’s problems start swallowing us, we realize how precious peace of mind is).

 

This serves as a very rough draft of this topic, I don’t think I have said all I wanted to say so stay tuned for more :).

I’m interested to know if a quiet life sounds attractive to you?

What’s the best thing about living a quiet life?

Do you disagree?