Tag: God

C12: What a life

C12: What a life

I look at you and it’s like I am 18 again

I remember what it’s like to feel young and miserable

But now it’s different

I have more wisdom

Limited, I shall say

But able to carry me through seeing life outside of you

I taste second chances

I feel grace

I am in awe of what a life it is

C3: Selflessness

C3: Selflessness

I was discussing with my argumentative therapist an intense, extreme, optimal example of human selfness. A person that I know that sacrifices ALL HE HAS of time, energy, and finances for a a very noble cause, if not THE most noble cause there is. I can’t quote my therapist exactly but he minimized and diluted my friend’s efforts by counting them off as self gratifying at the end (so not entirely selfless).

If the epitome of selfness HAS TO HAVE an iota of self gratification in the equation because noble causes are fulfilling to the human moral consciousness, then why should that weaken the quality of selflessness. In other words, if the quality of selflessness itself as humans know it contains self gratification then why should that even be mentioned.

C2: Road Trip

C2: Road Trip:

There are things that I am afraid of. Dark truths about the world that I am afraid to face and look in the eye. Maybe they’re not entirely dark but they are not entirely light either. Maybe the hidden, the parts that I don’t know or see will give me the relief and courage I need to face the dark parts. But the healing doesn’t come before the hurt.

(I wrote this, hoping that writing would be cathartic and alleviate my fears. I am literally afraid to take a road trip because I am afraid of what I am going to see and suffer the emotions and the actions that those truths warrant.)

C1: Fixation

C1: Fixation

Calling you beautiful is an understatement

Looking at your face (against the glimmering sun) spreading its rays to take more beauty from the world

Looking at your (shimmering) eyes giving it back

Sometimes sucking it all in and the rays in them become brighter, fiercer

Sucking me in

As I am left to feel or not feel at all the lightness of existence

(I woke up to an image in my mind that that inspired this image. It was of S looking at me through the corner of his right eye, as the falling sun and the ocean behind made it sparkle. We were standing on the pier arguing. Obviously, I embellished a bit to allow the moment its glory that can only be found in poetry, fiction, and our imaginative minds when we recall what could have been and make it more.)

Dandelions

Dear Wonderful Reader,

I present to you: dandelions. Some see a weed, others see a wish.

 

 

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.” (1 Corinthians 13:11)

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“The practice of kindness is the daily, friendly, homely caring form of love. It is both humble-a schoolboy bringing his teacher a bouquet of dandelions-and exalted-a fireman giving his life to save someone else’s. Kindness is love with hands and hearts and minds. It is both whimsical-causing our faces to crack into a smile-and deeply touching-causing our eyes to shimmer with tears. And its miraculous nature is such that the more acts of kindness we offer, the more of them we have to give, for acts of kindness are always drawn from the endless well of love.”

Dawna Markova

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“To have an inner life, to think, to juggle and leap, to become a tightrope walker in the world of ideas. To attack, to riposte, to refute, what a contest, what acclaim. To understand. The most generous word of all. Memory. To retain, a geyser of felicity. Intelligence. The agonizing poverty of my mind. Words and ideas flitting in and out like butterflies. My brain a dandelion seed blown in the wind.”

Violette Leduc

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“A man who took great pride in his lawn found himself with a large crop of dandelions. He tried every method he knew to get rid of them. Still they plagued him. Finally he wrote the department of agriculture. He enumerated all the things he had tried and closed his letter with the question: “What shall I do now?” In due course the reply came: “We suggest you learn to love them.”

Anthony de Mello

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“I was as unburdened as a piece of dandelion fluff, and he was the wind that stirred me about the world.”

Sarah J. Mass

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The Perks of Having Noisy, ROWDY, & Obnoxious Neighbours

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Dear Wonderful Reader,

(I have sHITTYpecial neighbors and I am trying to find the silver lining.)

  1. You forcibly become an early riser. As the early hours of dawn are the only hours that allow you to indulge in the peace and quiet.
  2. You forcibly become social and productive. As you hungrily welcome any chance to get out of your room whether with friends or to run errands.
  3. You forcibly become attuned to new music, artists, and the 560,984,324 tracks of White Noise that exist on Spotify. As the only way to cope sometimes is to mask the noise.
  4. You forcibly become articulate and scholarly. As you make full use of the Podcast application on your phone and all the free audiobooks on Youtube.
  5. You forcibly become a creative thinker. As you think of creative solutions to solve the problem: whether to drill a “Quiet Please” sign to the side of your house, or to strategically move your desk by the window so you are always aggressively-passively making eye contact with them (in hopes that this will yield some shame–yet to be tested).blank-quiet-please-sign-template.gif
  6. You forcibly become patriotic and shout God Bless America and kiss the flag. As you now understand what a privilege it is to live in a country where law enforcement will answer to noise complaints (also, you have finally understood the point of paying taxes).
  7. You forcibly become conscious of your temperament and are forced to get a perspective. As you now have to develop coping mechanisms to be able to talk to yourself and calm it down when rage strikes.
  8. You forcibly become acutely aware of what you require in your next residency (and relationship). As you now dearly uphold “No talkers/ No children” banner whether in a neighbor or a partner.
  9. You forcibly become grateful. As you now savor peace and quiet and the little things in life that you have always took for granted.
  10. You forcibly become more Christian and understand the complexities of the Bible. As you run to Jesus in prayer when all else fails. You now know the weight and depth of “Love thy neighbor” (Mark 12:31) as this command takes on new meanings in your life.

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