An open letter to Procrastination

Procrastination: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Because of you I am a late bloomer. And I hate it. You make me feel paralyzed. You make me feel unable. You make me feel like a loser. I hate how you play a big role in my life and I hate that you just creep up on me everyday. I hate how many times I tried to battle you and failed. I hate knowing how capable and close I am to achieving my goals and dreams but you just stand there between me and them.

You stand there mocking me with a look in your eyes about how weak willed I must be to succumb to you everyday. You’re so good at at making me self-loathe. The smirk on your face says it all.

Some people have great obstacles like lack of health, money, resources, or time and yet they rise above themselves and their scarcity whatever it may be. But here you are wasting away your years because of me. I am nothing to other people. But to you, I am your enemy.

How easy is it for me to lure you in with sleeping in, lingering in bed, watching just one more show. I relish in the idiotic ways I can make you surrender to me even without knowing.

Sometimes I even make you think that you have everything under control so what is wrong with just a little entertainment. A little venturing off the way.

The high you get from being productive and staying on task have become so foreign to you that you can’t even keep it up for more than just one day. It literally scares you and makes your heart beats faster.

Truth is I am scared of who you could be without me.

Will you be able to conquer me?

I will.

The Perks of Having Noisy, ROWDY, & Obnoxious Neighbours

Dear Wonderful Reader,

(I have sHITTYpecial neighbors and I am trying to find the silver lining.)

1. You forcibly become an early riser. As the early hours of dawn are the only hours that allow you to indulge in the peace and quiet.
2. You forcibly become social and productive. As you hungrily welcome any chance to get out of your room whether with friends or to run errands.
3. You forcibly become attuned to new music, artists, and the 560,984,324 tracks of White Noise that exist on Spotify. As the only way to cope sometimes is to mask the noise.
4. You forcibly become articulate and scholarly. As you make full use of the Podcast application on your phone and all the free audiobooks on Youtube.
5. You forcibly become a creative thinker. As you think of creative solutions to solve the problem: whether to drill a “Quiet Please” sign to the side of your house, or to strategically move your desk by the window so you are always aggressively-passively making eye contact with them (in hopes that this will yield some shame–yet to be tested).
6. You forcibly become patriotic and shout God Bless America and kiss the flag. As you now understand what a privilege it is to live in a country where law enforcement will answer to noise complaints (also, you have finally understood the point of paying taxes).
7. You forcibly become conscious of your temperament and are forced to get a perspective. As you now have to develop coping mechanisms to be able to talk to yourself and calm it down when rage strikes.
8. You forcibly become acutely aware of what you require in your next residency (and relationship). As you now dearly uphold “No talkers/ No children” banner whether in a neighbor or a partner.
9. You forcibly become grateful. As you now savor peace and quiet and the little things in life that you have always took for granted.
10. You forcibly become more Christian and understand the complexities of the Bible. As you run to Jesus in prayer when all else fails. You now know the weight and depth of “Love thy neighbor” (Mark 12:31) as this command takes on new meanings in your life.

Reasons why I should enjoy my job

Hello Wonderful Reader,

I am having the Sunday/Monday blues here. It’s 11:12 pm and I am not looking forward to the next day. I have vowed so many times during HARD TIMES that I would never complain about idiotic, trivial things such as traffic, or a job. BUT, here I am!! In a humble effort I am going to try to shift my perspective by listing the reasons why I am grateful for my job.

 

1. I start at 6:00 am (by choice) and get off at 2:30 pm, which is earlier than most people.
2. I can use my headphones at work.
3. We have a Keurig machine at work (free coffee).
4. My boss is working remotely and only comes 1 week out of the month.
5. I have my own big cubicle, that is isolated from all others cubicles (except the fact the GM has tunnel vision to mine).
6. I take 40 minutes lunches (instead of 30 minutes).
7. I get to run my own meeting every week (which I dread but it is good practice to get out of my comfort zone).
8. I get along with a couple of girls at work.
9. It is generally a relaxed environment.
10. My office is less than 20 people.
11. We kinda don’t have a dress code.
12. I GET PAID.

 

Admonitions To A Special Person – Anne Sexton

Watch out for power,
for its avalanche can bury you,
snow, snow, snow, smothering your mountain.

Watch out for hate,
it can open its mouth and you’ll fling yourself out
to eat off your leg, an instant leper.

Watch out for friends,
because when you betray them,
as you will,
they will bury their heads in the toilet
and flush themselves away.

Watch out for intellect,
because it knows so much it knows nothing
and leaves you hanging upside down,
mouthing knowledge as your heart
falls out of your mouth.

Watch out for games, the actor’s part,
the speech planned, known, given,
for they will give you away
and you will stand like a naked little boy,
pissing on your own child-bed.

Watch out for love
(unless it is true,
and every part of you says yes including the toes) ,
it will wrap you up like a mummy,
and your scream won’t be heard
and none of your running will end.

Love? Be it man. Be it woman.
It must be a wave you want to glide in on,
give your body to it, give your laugh to it,
give, when the gravelly sand takes you,
your tears to the land. To love another is something
like prayer and can’t be planned, you just fall
into its arms because your belief undoes your disbelief.

Special person,
if I were you I’d pay no attention
to admonitions from me,
made somewhat out of your words
and somewhat out of mine.
A collaboration.
I do not believe a word I have said,
except some, except I think of you like a young tree
with pasted-on leaves and know you’ll root
and the real green thing will come.

Let go. Let go.
Oh special person,
possible leaves,
this typewriter likes you on the way to them,
but wants to break crystal glasses
in celebration,
for you,
when the dark crust is thrown off
and you float all around
like a happened balloon.

Anne Sexton

Rules of Happiness: Spend Out

Dear Wonderful Reader,

In her book “The Happiness Project”, Gretchen Rubin advises her readers to “Spend Out”. When I first read the header of the chapter, I thought she will talk about money and how we should spend more money in order to be happy.

Thankfully, her advise was much more accessible, and simpler than that. Ms. Rubin is advising against hoarding (guilty!!) or basically saving our “good” bra for only when we’re going out somewhere fancy. Or in my case marking my fancy perfume as a “special occasions ” perfume. How many of us are guilty of saving our “nice” things to events where we see fit, which may never come. Why not just enjoy them now  and put them to work and get our money and hard work’s worth. At the end of the day, they’re just things and they’re irreplaceable. Emotionally, it makes a lot of sense to suck as much happiness from what we got now rather than assigning them to a future they may never see (lol). Economically, it makes even more sense because you’re using all your resources (which may go bad or out of style if you keep hoarding).

So SPEND OUT and don’t hoard things. Wear red lipstick even if you’re only going grocery shopping. Break out the fine China for a simple event (or none at all). Wear your sexy bra even if you’re only running errands. Adore Me is encouraging women to wear their “good” bras AT ALL TIMES, check out their Instagram page for more inspiration. And I HIGHLY RECOMMEND “The Happiness Project”.

And yes, that’s a dog’s bed in the photo.

Patience is a Virtue

Grunge landscape with single tree

Faith

6 Before 26

Ok so I turn 26 on July 29th, so I feel like I am super late into this challenge. But 

Okaaaay Here I go:

1. Go to the gym 7 consecutive days.
2. Clean and reinvent my room to look minimal (by removing stuff from it and not buying more).
3. Downsize my closet, at least by 3o pieces.
4. Create a photo album.
5. Read 1 book in a day (not audio book).
6. Pray and read the bible for 7 consecutive days.

 

Alright here’s my “simple” list. If I do finish it before my birthday, I’ll come up with a new one and hopefully I could reach 26 before 26.

Plus Size Macy’s $5.59 Winter/Fall Clothing Haul

Dear Wonderful Reader,

Here’s part 2 of my Macy’s haul. I made my mom my model. I hope you enjoy the selection and hopefully this reaches you in time so you could take advantage of this sale.

I initially bought this for myself but it looked terrible on me because of the fit (see the post before this one), however its great quality and great price ($9 from $99) made it hard for me to give it up. That’s why I was glad when my mom decided to keep it for herself.

 

I also bought those two shirts for my brothers cause I wanted them to be “twinsies”. They refused to model them for me :(.

 

Invoice:

Huge Macy’s $10 Fall/Winter Clothes Haul

Dear Wonderful Reader,

I was inclined to make a huge purchase from Macy’s website because I saw that a lot of great pieces of clothing was marked more or less in the $10 range, all of which are Winter clothes which are usually pretty pricey due to their thick material. Please go ahead and take advantage of this sale if you need to.

Now on to the clothes. Since I bought those online I expected that a few of them will be “hits” and most will be “misses”. I experimented with different colors and sizes knowing that I am not going to keep everything and I’ll just return the “misses” to my local Macy’s which is conveniently located near my house. As long as I return them before I pay my credit card statement, I should be safe and happily enjoy the few bargain pieces I collected. I am very confused as to which pieces to keep. I modeled all the pieces for you to help me decide (and their different sizes/colors). The less number of pieces I keep, the happier my wallet is, so please refrain from saying “that everything looks great” and comments from this variety. I am also going to include my order’s invoice for price reference.

 

Pretty please, WHICH PIECES SHOULD I KEEP?

(If you scroll down you will see their names, should you need to point them out)

 

Invoice:

 

Shout out to my cousin Jackie for gifting with this beautiful grey tank top that I used as an under shirt in this shoot. Love you cuz ❤