he always behaved like coming to see me was the biggest shore, because he had to battle traffic. A few times he would just sit there and be completely quiet in a crappy mood. One time that made me cry in public and instead of apologizing and comforting me, I had to spell out for him what he was doing and he just said that he doesn’t know why he is this way.
i had to say I love you first (though, i don’t think i meant it, i think i was just waiting to feel something or to move him or add some excitement to the relationship, that was a con of mine but i will get to that list in a different post).
he said he loved a year and a half later into the relationship but i felt like it lacked passion and vulnerability that comes with saying those 3 words. To his defense, i didn’t say it back to him. The uttering of those words didn’t move me or cause fireworks or anything. In fact, i don’t i had been eager for him to say. i always reminded myself that he hadn’t said it back when i said it to him and that was weird that it was taking him this long but that was just another flaw, i don’t think i looked forward to that moment. I also, didn’t say it back when he said it, which troubled me actually. i should have said it back without thinking, but for some reason i felt like if i did it would felt forced.
after that, when i he would call and i would end our calls with a causal “love you”, he would never say it back. And i wasn’t lying i guess i love him in a way i love a best friend.
he NEVER eagerly kissed me. In fact even time i would kiss him goodbye, i had to initiate it. and i would bring up this subject, he would say that he isn’t a teenager who can just sit there and make to for hours, but i wasn’t asking him to make out. it was just weird to me that i never felt that he HAD to kiss me or even wanted to.
Needless to say, and in ALL honesty, I have been burdened by the WEIGHT OF THE WORLD. I have been carrying atrocities and injustices that I have no idea how to even begin fathoming on my shoulders and blaming myself for being human or my apathy. That is why the messages below resonated with so much. My birthday was on the July 29th and this message was preached the next day on a Sunday. I really needed to hear this. I wanna let go. I have a lot on my mind and a lot to unravel in my soul. TBD.
That would be being hooked up on a guy for 6 years who was not worth it. I do regret that time spent. All the mental and physical energy that was spent on him. In fact I am so over this experience now that I can’t write about with the same passion. That in itself makes me happy because It shows how far I have come and how I was able to put the past behind me. This gives me hope that I could overcome anything, however big it seems at the time. And I did learn a lot from this experience and I am bitter about it anymore.
Whatever you’re going through, remember the power of time. So It’s okay to be sad, bored, or after the guy or people, but let that time be entirely spent on them. Feel the emotions you want to feel but please work to achieve your goals and dream at the same time.
[Verse 1] Said all I want from you is to see you tomorrow And every tomorrow, maybe you’ll let me borrow your heart And is it too much to ask for every Sunday And while we’re at it, throw in every other day to start
I know people make promises all the time Then they turn right around and break them When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, and you’re bleeding But I could be that guy to heal it over time And I won’t stop until you believe it ‘Cause baby you’re worth it
[Chorus] So don’t act like it’s a bad thing to fall in love with me ‘Cause you might fuck around and find your dreams come true, with me Spend all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free So don’t act like it’s a bad thing to fall in love with me, me It’s not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
[Verse 2] Now how about I’d be the last voice you hear tonight? And every other night for the rest of the nights that there are Every morning I just wanna see you staring back at me ‘Cause I know that’s a good place to start
I know people make promises all the time Then they turn right around and break them When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, and you’re bleeding Don’t you know that I could be that guy to heal it over time And I won’t stop until you believe it ‘Cause baby you’re worth it
[Chorus] So don’t act like it’s a bad thing to fall in love with me ‘Cause you might fuck around and find your dreams come true, with me Spend all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free So don’t act like it’s a bad thing to fall in love with me, me It’s not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me It’s not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me (Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me)
No I won’t fill your mind With broken promises and wasted time And if you fall, you’ll always land right in these arms These arms of mine
[Chorus] Don’t act like it’s a bad thing to fall in love with me ‘Cause you might fuck around and find your dreams come true, with me Spend all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free So don’t act like it’s a bad thing to fall in love with me, me It’s not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me
4ever21christina 