My Dinner ;)
Life through Leonid Afremov’s Strokes
Love through Leonid Afremov’s Strokes
My Goals for Summer 2012
A Day in a College Student’s Life: 8 am Classes Should Be Banished
I don’t know why should one be punished (grade-wise) for missing an 8 am college course??!!
Don’t they know how hard it is to get up at six am (even if you went to sleep at 10:30 hahah).
And then you have to get ready for an hour and drive for an hour and then walk across campus in the cold while carrying your ultra-super heavy backpack, that’s filled with your laptop, because you’re always doing your homework last minute in class, and 50 other books, because 1. literature professors love to support the publishing industry by assigning like 687023074 books to purchase even if you only going to read the “introduction” portion of it (I especially find it a total waste of money to purchase books because I always make full use of my online resources, aka sparks notes but I purchase them anyway because every quarter is a new beginning for me and a chance to be that perfect student that I always wanted to be ahhhh) 2. because I’m not really sure which book we’re reading so I just take them all. Obviously, I gotta be prepared to any surprises. haha I mean I gotta do everything I can to make a good impression on the professor after walking in late, with no homework, and failing the quiz, and being mute in lecture. Then all I do in class is look intently at the professor and jot down notes that are written so carelessly, I can’t even read them myself, that way the professor knows I’m paying attention mentally. Yep, I got game ;).
Plus how can one maintain the physical poise needed to attract potential dates and future boyfriends if you’re walking on campus all confidently with your nice blouse, new shoes, flirty skirt, and I’m-rich shades, and then BAAAAAAM there goes the poise-killer, 60-something pounds backpack with the stumbling and trust me, I can take the stumbling that’s cool but how can I do my RUNWAY catwalk with the 70 pounds I’m carrying. Obviously I’ll stay single forever because even if I got rid of the backpack, how can I get rid of my chronic back problems. Life can be so unfair sometimes *tears*.
Guess my Nationality/Ethnicity
Where the Wild Birds Sing
-Avoid alliteration always.
-Be more or less specific.
-Employ the vernacular.
-Eschew amperstands & abbreviations, etc.
-Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-Contractions aren’t necessary.
-One should never generalize.
-Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
-One word sentences? Eliminate.
-The passive voice is to be avoided.
-Who needs rhetorical questions?
-Don’t never use double negation.
-Do not put statements in the negative form.
-Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
-Proofread carefuly to see if you words out.
-And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
-Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
-I’ve told you a million times: DON’T EXAGGERATE!
My Very Own: (Usually addressed to my brothers.)
-Have some f***** Manners!
Can’t Help It But Adore Gilderoy Lockhart
Gilderoy Lockhart has to be amongst my favorite characters in the Harry Potter series. I love his self-absorbed humor and It’s my favorite kind of humor (I can relate to it so well hahah).
The following passage comes form “The Chamber of Secrets”. Its so funny how Lockhart is so oblivious to Harry’s fame that exceeds his and he calls him a “nobody”. hahaha Gotta love Lockhart.
“Harry,” said Lockhart, his large white teeth gleaming in the sunlight as he shook his head. “Harry, Harry, Harry.”
Completely nonplussed, Harry said nothing. “When I heard -well, of course, it was all my fault. Could have kicked myself.
Harry had no idea what he was talking about. He was about to say so when Lockhart went on, “Don’t know when I’ve been more shocked. Flying a car to Hogwarts! Well, of course, I knew at once why you’d done it. Stood out a mile. Harry, Harry, Harry.”
It was remarkable how he could show every one of those brilliant teeth even when he wasn’t talking.
“Gave you a taste for publicity, didn’t I?” said Lockhart. “Gave you the bug. You got onto the front page of the paper with me and you couldn’t wait to do it again.”
“Oh, no, Professor, see -”
“Harry, Harry, Harry,” said Lockhart, reaching out and grasping his shoulder. “I understand. Natural to want a bit more once you’ve had that first taste – and I blame myself for giving you that, because it was bound to go to your head – but see here, young man, you can’t start flying cars to try and get yourself noticed. Just calm down, all right? Plenty of time for all that when you’re older. Yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking! ‘It’s all right for him, he’s an internationally famous wizard already!’ But when I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. In fact, I’d say I was even more of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven’t they? All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!”
He glanced at the lightning scar on Harry’s forehead. “I know, I know – it’s not quite as good as winning Witch Weekly’s Most Charming-Smile Award five times in a row, as I have – but it’s a start, Harry, it’s a start.” He gave Harry a hearty wink and strode off.
P.s. This is even more hilarious when you listen to it in the audio book by Jim Dale. Guaranteed to make you piss your pants. 4 realzzz