C2: Road Trip:
There are things that I am afraid of. Dark truths about the world that I am afraid to face and look in the eye. Maybe they’re not entirely dark but they are not entirely light either. Maybe the hidden, the parts that I don’t know or see will give me the relief and courage I need to face the dark parts. But the healing doesn’t come before the hurt.
(I wrote this, hoping that writing would be cathartic and alleviate my fears. I am literally afraid to take a road trip because I am afraid of what I am going to see and suffer the emotions and the actions that those truths warrant.)
what can i do when i can do nothing?
is there actually an instance where i can only do nothing?
is doing nothing doing something?
is nothing neutral?
or is nothing a negative contribution?
my guilt, powerlessness, lack of creativity and drive are eating at me. i help my friend run his instagram account for a dog rescue overseas and I get tragic messages about animals being poisoned, tortured, and suffering in ways that are unimaginable and in every sense of the word heartbreaking and i can do nothing, being i am 74884957 miles away and have no saying on which cases the rescue can take and the rescue is always full and lacking resources anyways. i see it all happening then I hear about the tragedy that followed because no one moved and I can d nothing. i admit i am a fool. i must be doing something wrong. or going at this wrong. there must be a solution. things shouldn’t be this bleak. I hope i have more faith to be a vessel to the power I know is available to us through Christ and do something about this suffering.
Let’s just say I listen to a lot of TED talks.
My office environment is lax, besides the few passive aggressive emails I receive from my (woman) boss every so often. Also, My chatty co-worker just moved cubicles a few weeks ago and now I am all by myself in my cubicle (besides the fact that my other (male) boss could easily tunnel vision me by a simple turn of his head).
So with that said I rejoice in the silence and take full advantage of it filling it with Education. I can’t listen to audiobooks because it is hard to follow sometimes with office interruptions, but I do listen to a lot of TED talks, when I am not busy counting down the minutes to go home, and I actually quiet enjoy them and thankful I am able to.
Here are some of the stuff that stayed with me and I want to share them with you: