They just suck me into my happy place. ❤
I don’t know why should one be punished (grade-wise) for missing an 8 am college course??!!
Don’t they know how hard it is to get up at six am (even if you went to sleep at 10:30 hahah).
And then you have to get ready for an hour and drive for an hour and then walk across campus in the cold while carrying your ultra-super heavy backpack, that’s filled with your laptop, because you’re always doing your homework last minute in class, and 50 other books, because 1. literature professors love to support the publishing industry by assigning like 687023074 books to purchase even if you only going to read the “introduction” portion of it (I especially find it a total waste of money to purchase books because I always make full use of my online resources, aka sparks notes but I purchase them anyway because every quarter is a new beginning for me and a chance to be that perfect student that I always wanted to be ahhhh) 2. because I’m not really sure which book we’re reading so I just take them all. Obviously, I gotta be prepared to any surprises. haha I mean I gotta do everything I can to make a good impression on the professor after walking in late, with no homework, and failing the quiz, and being mute in lecture. Then all I do in class is look intently at the professor and jot down notes that are written so carelessly, I can’t even read them myself, that way the professor knows I’m paying attention mentally. Yep, I got game ;).
Plus how can one maintain the physical poise needed to attract potential dates and future boyfriends if you’re walking on campus all confidently with your nice blouse, new shoes, flirty skirt, and I’m-rich shades, and then BAAAAAAM there goes the poise-killer, 60-something pounds backpack with the stumbling and trust me, I can take the stumbling that’s cool but how can I do my RUNWAY catwalk with the 70 pounds I’m carrying. Obviously I’ll stay single forever because even if I got rid of the backpack, how can I get rid of my chronic back problems. Life can be so unfair sometimes *tears*.
-Avoid alliteration always.
-Be more or less specific.
-Employ the vernacular.
-Eschew amperstands & abbreviations, etc.
-Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
-Contractions aren’t necessary.
-One should never generalize.
-Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
-One word sentences? Eliminate.
-The passive voice is to be avoided.
-Who needs rhetorical questions?
-Don’t never use double negation.
-Do not put statements in the negative form.
-Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
-Proofread carefuly to see if you words out.
-And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
-Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
-I’ve told you a million times: DON’T EXAGGERATE!
My Very Own: (Usually addressed to my brothers.)
-Have some f***** Manners!
Gilderoy Lockhart has to be amongst my favorite characters in the Harry Potter series. I love his self-absorbed humor and It’s my favorite kind of humor (I can relate to it so well hahah).
The following passage comes form “The Chamber of Secrets”. Its so funny how Lockhart is so oblivious to Harry’s fame that exceeds his and he calls him a “nobody”. hahaha Gotta love Lockhart.
“Harry,” said Lockhart, his large white teeth gleaming in the sunlight as he shook his head. “Harry, Harry, Harry.”
Completely nonplussed, Harry said nothing. “When I heard -well, of course, it was all my fault. Could have kicked myself.
Harry had no idea what he was talking about. He was about to say so when Lockhart went on, “Don’t know when I’ve been more shocked. Flying a car to Hogwarts! Well, of course, I knew at once why you’d done it. Stood out a mile. Harry, Harry, Harry.”
It was remarkable how he could show every one of those brilliant teeth even when he wasn’t talking.
“Gave you a taste for publicity, didn’t I?” said Lockhart. “Gave you the bug. You got onto the front page of the paper with me and you couldn’t wait to do it again.”
“Oh, no, Professor, see -”
“Harry, Harry, Harry,” said Lockhart, reaching out and grasping his shoulder. “I understand. Natural to want a bit more once you’ve had that first taste – and I blame myself for giving you that, because it was bound to go to your head – but see here, young man, you can’t start flying cars to try and get yourself noticed. Just calm down, all right? Plenty of time for all that when you’re older. Yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking! ‘It’s all right for him, he’s an internationally famous wizard already!’ But when I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. In fact, I’d say I was even more of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven’t they? All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!”
He glanced at the lightning scar on Harry’s forehead. “I know, I know – it’s not quite as good as winning Witch Weekly’s Most Charming-Smile Award five times in a row, as I have – but it’s a start, Harry, it’s a start.” He gave Harry a hearty wink and strode off.
P.s. This is even more hilarious when you listen to it in the audio book by Jim Dale. Guaranteed to make you piss your pants. 4 realzzz
1. I wanna stare deep in your eyes for hours without talking (Alright maybe like for minutes haha).
2. I promise I will laugh at all your jokes even if they’re not funny (Naaah, I probably won’t).
3. You’ll be my soulmate (aww that’s cute).
4. I wanna make love to you in dark room that only lit by candle lights and conditioned by the summer breath.
5. You’ll inspire me.
6. Despite all strength, you’ll make me weak.
7. I wanna kiss you in the rain (even better than the “The Notebook”). Hell ya fuckin right
8. I wanna paddle away with you and go somewhere surreal and beautiful like they have gone in “The Notebook” and kiss you!!!!!! (Didn’t you say that before).
9. I wanna be absolutely ridiculous with you! (Marilyn Monroe much *raises eyebrows* haha)
10. I wanna listen to “The Cure” music with you. (I def. had a major Cure phase some months ago)
A romantic list I conducted some month ago along with my current reflection haha
It’s always funny and a little embarrassing to look back at things you wrote.
The following passage appears in Hamlet Act 1, Scene 3. In the passage, Polonius is advising his son about life before he sets off to France. It’s one of my favorite passages because it so wise and I wish to live my life that way.
And these few precepts in thy memory
Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel,
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatched, unfledged comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
Bear ’t that th’ opposèd may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear but few thy voice.
Take each man’s censure but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not expressed in fancy—rich, not gaudy,
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell. My blessing season this in thee.
P.s. Maybe Polonius wasn’t a bad guy after all haha
Jealousy is like the worst feeling ever. Right? Yes, obviously? haha
Because it makes us act unlike ourselves.
Like I don’t like myself when I’m jealous. I just feel so annoyed like.. like like I can’t even live. You know what I mean. Ughhhh
Boy Meets Girl (personal story)
Boy meets girl on the first day of work. Boy flirts heavily with girl. Boy asks girl to hang out with him after work. Boy and girl do hang out after work in a romantic little garden with trees and a small beautiful lack. Boy cunningly tries to touch girl. Boy begs girl to take off her shades. Girl grow interested in boy. Girl tells boy she has to leave. Boy walks girl to her car. Boy tells girl that she has something in her hair. Boy stretch out his hand to take it out. The air is charged with boy and girl attraction toward each other. Girl thinks, “It feels like a magnet in here” haha. Girl hugs boy goodbye. Boy tries to kiss girl. AKWARD. Girl feels to her. Girl wanted to kiss boy but boy is her co-worker and she barely met him.
Boy and girl hang out for two months.
Boy and girl fight.
Girl stop talking to boy for six months.
Boy and girl still see each other at work but they don’t communicate.
A new chick at work….
To be continued….