The Perks of Having Noisy, ROWDY, & Obnoxious Neighbours

Dear Wonderful Reader,

(I have sHITTYpecial neighbors and I am trying to find the silver lining.)

1. You forcibly become an early riser. As the early hours of dawn are the only hours that allow you to indulge in the peace and quiet.
2. You forcibly become social and productive. As you hungrily welcome any chance to get out of your room whether with friends or to run errands.
3. You forcibly become attuned to new music, artists, and the 560,984,324 tracks of White Noise that exist on Spotify. As the only way to cope sometimes is to mask the noise.
4. You forcibly become articulate and scholarly. As you make full use of the Podcast application on your phone and all the free audiobooks on Youtube.
5. You forcibly become a creative thinker. As you think of creative solutions to solve the problem: whether to drill a “Quiet Please” sign to the side of your house, or to strategically move your desk by the window so you are always aggressively-passively making eye contact with them (in hopes that this will yield some shame–yet to be tested).
6. You forcibly become patriotic and shout God Bless America and kiss the flag. As you now understand what a privilege it is to live in a country where law enforcement will answer to noise complaints (also, you have finally understood the point of paying taxes).
7. You forcibly become conscious of your temperament and are forced to get a perspective. As you now have to develop coping mechanisms to be able to talk to yourself and calm it down when rage strikes.
8. You forcibly become acutely aware of what you require in your next residency (and relationship). As you now dearly uphold “No talkers/ No children” banner whether in a neighbor or a partner.
9. You forcibly become grateful. As you now savor peace and quiet and the little things in life that you have always took for granted.
10. You forcibly become more Christian and understand the complexities of the Bible. As you run to Jesus in prayer when all else fails. You now know the weight and depth of “Love thy neighbor” (Mark 12:31) as this command takes on new meanings in your life.